How to make your staff feel good
A look at the five ‘love languages’ and how they can be applied (appropriately) in the workplace to help employees feel valued.
The Five Love Languages were first written about by Gary Chapman in 1992. While Chapman’s premise was that romantic partners could better relate to one another by understanding how they each communicate their love, the idea of ‘love languages’ has been adapted over the years to provide a more generic application across sectors, such as education, non-profit, and even the corporate world. Applying the love languages in your role as head of finance might seem like a long shot when it comes to building your team, but they could give you the edge when it comes to bringing together a team of people who really love their jobs and want to come to work.
Employers, coaches, mentors, and leaders have recognised the value of understanding how their employees or students express themselves so that they can better reach them in relevant ways. Shared values and goals are, of course, important, but understanding and expressing what’s needed to achieve them will look different for each person involved.
The Five Love Languages have been broadly defined as: Acts of Service; Receiving Gifts; Quality Time; Words of Affirmation; and Physical Touch. So here’s some detail on each of them and how they can be communicated in the workplace:
Acts of Service
These people want to know you’re with them, partnered and willing to help. Coming alongside them as the head of finance to help them with tasks and demonstrably going out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload will be most appreciated.
While some people are happy with a ‘well done’ now and then, these people view actions as speaking louder than words. Colleagues twiddling their thumbs while these people struggle to complete a task will not be well viewed. While everyone has their own responsibilities to manage, in a team setting, those who are willing and able to help, even in a small way, will gain the appreciation of their ‘Acts of Service’ colleagues.
Practical help could even be making a cup of tea for them or picking up their lunch. It doesn’t have to be at a huge expense to oneself, but rather, small, practical gestures that really don’t cost much at all are often those that are most gratefully received.
Receiving Gifts
These people like to know that they have been considered, thought of, and made a priority. They do not require huge gestures; in fact, the intention and thoughtfulness of even the smallest of gestures are what are more important to these people. ‘Receiving Gifts’ employees will always be attracted to organisations that have a reward and recognition system in place, especially if the rewards are in the form of ‘things’ to be obtained. Rewards that add up to gift cards, an experience, or perhaps promotional rates on something will motivate and encourage these people because they will feel valued in the workplace.
Quality Time
Providing an environment where these people can have focused attention without interruption is a priority. Taking time to make time and creating special moments and experiences are what they value more than anything.
In a busy workplace, with all the responsibility that comes with being head of finance, providing quality time for any one employee may seem like an unnecessary luxury. However, with a bit of creativity, opportunities can be created for one-on-one time as well as productive collaboration.
Organising a thank you meal, going on a lunchtime walk, or simply sitting down over a coffee, are all easy ways to communicate how much you value your ‘Quality Time’ teammate.
Words of Affirmation
For these people, empty words, corporate slogans, and company jargon simply will not cut it; for them, every word must have meaning in order for it to be taken seriously. They like to be genuinely encouraged and actively listened to.
Withholding praise when praise is due is a sure-fire way to demotivate these people. For some reason, we Brits can struggle to say ‘well done’, and we get all flustered at the idea of being ‘over the top’ when giving out compliments—don’t even start on how we receive them!
But words of affirmation don’t need to be sickly sweet or over the top; they can be very matter-of-fact and incredibly simple: ‘Thank you so much for your help’ or ‘You did a great job’. These small compliments, at the right time, will go a long way with your ‘Words of Affirmation’ colleagues.
Physical Touch
In a professional environment, physical touch will more often than not be viewed as inappropriate; however, these people respond not only to hugs and cuddles but to non-verbal signals as well as body language too.
In remote workplaces, it may seem difficult, if not impossible, to meet the needs of our ‘Physical Touch’ colleagues; however, this really isn’t the case. Ensuring there is sufficient face time (even if on a screen) will go some way to filling their physical tank. Making eye contact, waving, smiling, and seeing someone else’s mouth move when they speak are all very physical things.
In workplaces where physical proximity is possible, these people are the ones who like to high five, squeeze your arm, and sometimes get a bit huggy! Obviously, boundaries need to be in place for everyone’s comfort and safety, and cultures need to be factored in too. As long as all physical demonstrations of appreciation are done within these boundaries and are culturally appropriate, then these people will be very happy indeed!
All attempts to label or categorise people will have flaws and shortcomings because no person on Earth would ever check every box on a list. The responsibility of an employer is to broadly look at their workforce, recognising that there are some key groups that require different approaches to others.
While there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach out there, the love languages help us to simplify the nuances and put some constructs in place to communicate more effectively with our workforce. A reward scheme keeps the Receiving Gifts people engaged; a culture of collaboration keeps the Acts of Service people happy; a high-five and a smile keep the Physical Touch people’s tanks full; regular one-on-one and coffee chats keep the Quality Time people valued; and a ‘well done’ and public shout-out for the Words of Affirmation people will keep
them all buzzing!
